Tuesday, December 28, 2010


The 2 stars of my 365.
 This project went from joy and something fun to do,
 to a task I would dread every day,
 taught me to bring my camera everywhere,
made me realise you had to go out & make you're own fun,
and that beauty hides everywhere you just have to find it.
I'm so so glad I did 365 this year, without it I would have forgotten the raw emotion that went into each of those photos, there was alot going on behind the scenes but I can remember from each of those photos, even the ones that looked so boring, where it was taken, whether there was tears running from my eyes or a smile creeping across my face and in alot of them...both.
In a way 365 is part of me and I don't think I can stop. I don't think I want so many photos of Eli on the net so I might just do a private blog, contact me if you want to follow it but I know his journey is just beginning and  I definitely want to document it the best I can for him.
Thank you all for supporting me throughout this and I hope you enjoyed a look into my life through photos x

That's a wrap.....

Monday, December 27, 2010


A divil to get it into him but try and take it off him after! I decided in my infinite wisdom to hit the sales today as I had some vouchers. Hmmm Next do lovely baby clothes so ran out the door without breakfast and told D I'd be back in half an hour. So... 2 1/2 hours later and I'm still waiting in line *headbang
It was all because I picked this outfit up and I couldn't put it down and then I found little jeans to fit his diddy legs so then I had a handful but it really doesn't justify waiting 2 1/2 hours, you wouldn't see a man waiting that long for their babies clothes!

Sunday, December 26, 2010


All packed up and ready to go home from Nanny's house, when will he get to wear the costume again so may as well use it!We thought for ages it was too small for him and even tried to bring it back but when I actually put it on him his chins were pushed out the top and all the fur kept tickling him and making him smile! I think it looks like he is driving a white knuckle ride in this photo and it just makes me laugh!


We still haven't got a decent family photo that we haven't taken ourselves! Our first Christmas as a family, Eli's smile is from the fur tickling his face although I've noticed if I talk to him in his sleep he smiles when he hears my voice!Merry Christmas Everyone!!


Eli's first Christmas eve, not that he knew but I'm sure no one will forget it with temperatures dropping to -16 being snowed in, no power, a burst pipe and no heating! Hope he doesn't get too much sleep so he stays awake for Santie

Thursday, December 23, 2010


All wrapped up and ready to brave the -6 outside. First outing and he never even knew!


Finally started getting little smiles although most of them are directed at Diablo, but he is terrified of Eli and won't come too close so I suppose that's a good thing!

Tuesday, December 21, 2010


This is the dog who hates getting his paws wet but at the first sign of snow he sits by the patio door, tap tap tapping to get out every half hour. He runs out onto the decking and just starts rolling. I've seen him roll the length of the garden, then he starts kicking the snow and doing circles....the mess of him when he comes in. because he has long and soft  hair the snow sticks to him and mats so he has to get a blow dry every time he comes in, spoilt dog I don't have time for a blowdry!

Monday, December 20, 2010


Emma got a heap of gorgeous baby gros that I just cant wait for Eli to start wearing, this one is tiny baby and fits him *freaks out in case all the rest of them were as well and are going to be too small!
He wouldn't participate at all putting his arms in the air but hey....

Sunday, December 19, 2010


What to do while waiting for the next feed? It's 2 in the morning and he will be awake at 4....build snow castles of course! Got caught nicely by our neighbours as they were coming home from a night out as we filled the sandpit trying to make a turtle shaped snowcastle!

Saturday, December 18, 2010


He was sitting there for about 1/2 hour and starting muttering that no one was taking a photo of him... 365 365 he kept saying. He's never even seen this blog! The two of them sat happily like that for 2 hours and when I lifted Eli up he had Seamie's pattern on his face and was NOT happy with being moved. Nice to know I have a babysitter not too sure how the whole nappy episodes would work but cuddles would be plentiful!

Friday, December 17, 2010


Mini Santa and mini Eli


Waiting for Santie.... waiting

Wednesday, December 15, 2010


Baby and me...man I look tired. I was recapping the 365 and I found a photo of myself where I look 18, man I have aged this year. Far too much stress and pressure for one year, but I did get a pudding ball at the end of it! For people who know him and his story when they met him they can't believe how big he is but people who don't know Eli's story are fascinated how small he is, even though he is triple his birth weight now (6.1lb!) Every time I would leave him in the hospital to go to the loo or something I would come back to bums stuck in the air while they were looking at him!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010


Just started this but have to go to Dublin for a MRI now so it will have to wait. It was only meant for a handprint but haha recession busting baby fit a hand AND a foot! Go Eli!


Nearly..nearly got it. But he also learned how to stick his finger up his nose, kinda goes up automatically when he sticks his thumb in his mouth :) Admitted to hospital again today (sunday) because he just cried and cried and nothing could settle him. They changed his food on Thurs and it just didn't agree with him even though it took 2 phone calls, a scbu visit and an overnight stay we got home on different food and everyone is happy again. 4 nights without sleep was beginning to catch up with me!

Saturday, December 11, 2010


How'd you know daddy gave Eli a bath? That wasn't bubble bath he used, he just used ALOT of baby bath. As long as he is covered in water he thinks he is dressed and doesn't loose his life, Eli that is....not D!

Friday, December 10, 2010


 I really need to get some morning shots of him while the morning sun is in the dining room, it's perfect for baby skin. I know this one is over exposed but I like the way he's bathed in the light :)


WHAT does one have to do to get decent service for breakfast in bed *sigh

Wednesday, December 8, 2010


A lovely online friend sent Eli this teddy with his name on it. It's the size of him but it's so plush I'd sleep on it if he's not careful! His outfit is from another friend in Spain, tres stylish but the pants are huge on him, jesus maybe he has teeny tiny legs on a tiny body, that would be ridiculous..*runs to check the length of Eli's legs

Tuesday, December 7, 2010


20 days left....I'm going to really miss it when I finish it!
So proud, our lil boy is the length of a tiger loaf. They grow up so fast!

Monday, December 6, 2010


My heart melted when I saw this photo <3 Eli's not smiling just yet but his face looks so happy most of the time if that makes sense. He looks at his Daddy with such wonder and most of the time his mouth just falls open as he's looking at him, it's too cute!

Sunday, December 5, 2010


Ohh lala Senor Fufu, your first photo shoot and you slept through it...I wonder why? Oh that's right you didn't sleep at all last night but hey you still look cute :)

Saturday, December 4, 2010


Looking back on it now I should have known that that face meant I'm gonna vom on you....who knew something so small could projectile vomit so far. Between the dog, me and him I don't know who looked more confused. Lesson learned, don't bathe after a fed no matter how settled he is.

Friday, December 3, 2010


Haha orange toy, I win the staring match....Oh you wan't to continue, round 2 bring it!
Impressed the PHN nurse today but pulling himself up and standing, she nearly dropped him with shock! Weight is 5.13lb according to her. He was only 5.5lb yesterday...should I be worried? :)


The photo we waited for a long time for:

After 10 weeks,
18 days in hospital for me,
1 horrendous operation,
5 weeks in Dublin,
1lb 15oz removed from me,
3lb 6oz gained for Eli,
2 ears that grew up from his neck,
2 nipples that grew over night,
Eyelashes that grow in pairs everyday,
897 photos taken,
1 anxious aunty waiting to meet him,
2 special friends made,
Countless good wishes & random acts of kindness,
1 small baby who stole 2 parents hearts.....

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


What? OMG? say that again....
Is it ok? Why do we have to go there? Who will I meet?
Is it warm? Do I still get cuddles?
Hmm I'll think about it and might go with you...

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Ohhh what a load of poppycock trying to get the whole buggy dilemma sorted out but it's all done. All new system and much more user friendly that the last (only took one curse and 15 seconds to open it) Just need one baby to fill it :)

Monday, November 29, 2010


This photo breaks my heart, it's like it's his prison cell. The photo is from his due date with all of us and his cake. I made a present for the nurses this evening with this poem, it really helped me when Eli was first born. I just hope it can help a mother like it helped me through the bad times:

Did you ever wonder how the mothers of premature babies are chosen?
Somehow, I visualize God hovering over Earth, selecting his instruments for
 propagation with great care and deliberation. As he observes, he instructs 
his angels to take notes in a giant ledger.
"Armstrong, Beth, son. Patron Saint, Matthew.
Forrest, Marjorie, daughter. Patron Saint, Celia”
Finally, he passes a name to an angel and smiles.
"Give her a preemie." The angel is curious. "Why this one, God? She's so happy."
"Exactly," smiles God.
"Could I give a premature baby a mother who knows no laughter? 
That would be cruel."
"But does she have the patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience, or she'll drown in a sea
of self-pity and despair.
Once the shock and resentment wear off, she'll handle it.
I watched her today. She has that sense of self and independence so
rare and so necessary in a mother.
You see, the child I'm going to give her has a world of its own.
She has to make it live in her world, and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you."
God smiles. "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect She has
just the right amount of selfishness."
The angel gasps, "Selfishness?! Is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally,
she will never survive.
Yes, here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect.
She doesn't know it yet, but she is to be envied.
She will never take for granted a spoken word.
She will never consider a step ordinary.
When her child says momma for the first time, 
she will be witness to a miracle and know it.
I will permit her to see clearly the things I see--ignorance, cruelty, prejudice
and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone.
I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life
because she is doing my work as surely as she is here by my side."
"And what about her Patron Saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in
the air. God smiles. "A mirror will suffice." 

Sunday, November 28, 2010


Today was Eli's due date. It's weird to think if he hadn't been born yet I wouldn't have known that :
He hates being on my shoulder and just makes faces(I think it hurts his hernia)
He loves walking around with me after a feed looking out because he's a nosey premmie
He farts louder than any man
He looks like me when I sleep
He has the same mouth as D
Or the fact that he is amazing lil person and how wonderful the world is since he has been born.

Saturday, November 27, 2010


Bath times.... they are going to be daddy's job because he hates getting naked and screams holy hell but then once he's wrapped up gives you a look like this and you wonder how something so small could scream so loud....

Friday, November 26, 2010


I left D alone with him today while I popped over to Anne's for a coffee. When I got back he was all changed and being fed, great no work for me until the poonmai of the century came and ended up nearly using a whole roll of cotton wool on the poo from hell.... really have to work on the you change a nappy then I change a nappy scenario. Snow is a coming Eli so come on home.

Thursday, November 25, 2010


* I have a secret.... I know when Eli's coming home :)
First ride in a vibrating chair, I don't know if that's normal in babies but I could feel the vibrations coming out his fingers! Not too sure if he enjoyed it, the wide eyed panic look might indicate something ;p

Wednesday, November 24, 2010


He is just working those puppy dog eyes *sigh they work on me

Tuesday, November 23, 2010


Wooooo 5lb! 1st set of shots over with, now to battle with his terrible dress sense...

Monday, November 22, 2010


What a difference two months make.... his shin was the length of our fingers when he was born
Now his foot is the length of my finger (but then again he's always had big feet :) )

Sunday, November 21, 2010


Yahhh another hat that fits him! I think he looks like a little Fred Durst in it and the nurse thought he was getting into the festive mood. 
He has strep G in his eyes, which is blocking his tear ducts and making his nose snortle so we have to massage it 5 times a day and he gets drops, I hope it improves because right now his tears are welding his eyes together and he always has the large glossy eyes of puss in boots from Shrek.

Saturday, November 20, 2010


Still have a sore throat so have to protect Eli, the heat under there is unreal and just makes the whole situation unbearable. But on the upside Eli is doing much better, got dressed today and back into the cot and how cute is his little cardi with duck buttons!

Friday, November 19, 2010


Eli's new shade for his room and I popped in a teddy someone knit for him. The presents he has gotten are ridiculous and people have been so good, I could never thank half of them. Certainly given the room an "Up" feeling, might go with it.
I think today it hit us that we feel kinda cheated, walking through the maternity ward and you see groups of families huddled around their babies. It's like we live an alternative life, one with Eli and one at home. It's so weird to have a baby whose 2 months old and no one bar the grandparents have seen him, it's so surreal.

Thursday, November 18, 2010


Family photo, 1st one since he was born 2 months ago. What a trying 8 weeks, we've both learned so much, about each other and our limits and if anything it has made us stronger. Any doubts we had about not being ready or being able to be good parents have been firmly dashed. Eli came into this world far too early but there has never been a moment in his life when he knew he wasn't loved so much. Happy 2 months baby x

Wednesday, November 17, 2010


Ohh dear, a set back again. Makes it hard because he's been doing so well. When I rang last night they said he was breathing very hard and needed a chest xray at 3 ( I left at 2.50...he had to wait til I went), he's been snuffly for a few days but he was panting so hard and was the first day he was really off form with me, nothing could settle him. So back into the incubator and a long line in for antibiotics, they are throwing random words around like RSV and bronchitis, just hope the antibiotics kick in soon

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


....Just Eli...

Monday, November 15, 2010


He screamed blue murder while getting a bath and once he was dressed he smiled at me, certainly knows what he wants! Stayed awake for 2 hours after it, and his eyes have begun to focus on me, it's so nice to see all these developments....getting impatient to bring him home now!

Sunday, November 14, 2010


Here's my fierce face in my cardi my nanny knitted.... and pose

Saturday, November 13, 2010


This is called a bath you say..not to sure if I'm enjoying it.
WEight is 4.4lbs :)

Friday, November 12, 2010


The meaning of life...gosh I don't know just yet

Thursday, November 11, 2010


Hmmm maybe a lil too big.... back to the knitting needles it is!
It's day 319, he will def be home by 365, place your bets on what day he will come home on. 
I hope on day 348 (10th Dec), although I'm so sad that we have to celebrate his zero birthday in hospital :(

Wednesday, November 10, 2010


All snug in his new bed! Moved to a cot today woooo, so now he can't sprawl out like he's sunning himself in the med like he did in the incubator. Welcome to Ireland Eli, wrap up warm :)

Tuesday, November 9, 2010


We came, we visited, we slept...
Hospitals are such draining places, I have zero energy after visiting Eli